If Tennis Players Were Celebrities Part 1

Have you ever wondered who your favourite player would be if they were a Hollywood actor or rock star? Tennis players get asked from time to time who they'd chose to represent them in a movie, but often the person they pick is who they admire most, not who resembles them. So here at OnTheGoTennis we have decided to answer these burning questions once and for all.

Where better place to start than everyones favourite WAG, Caroline Wozniacki. We think if she were an actress, she'd be...

Anne Hathaway. Both women are talented, (Hathaway is an Oscar winner, Wozniacki used to be No.1), beautiful and neither of them have much in the way of scandal. They're clean cut, they appreciate their fans and they don't take what they have for granted.

So why are they both so damn annoying?

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Bad Boys of the ATP: Tomas Berdych

Bad boys. We love em, then we hate em, then we love em again. For most women, there is nothing sexier than a man who loves you then leaves you begging for more. Endless songs are written about these men our fathers would certainly not approve of, but whether we simply daydream about these rebellious romantics, (hello, Eric Northman), or actually pursue them is another matter entirely.Only one thing is for sure, at some point in our lives we will find ourselves attracted to someone who strays a little on the naughty side.

If you're a bad boy addict, modern day tennis leaves a lot to be desired. On the surface, men's tennis is filled with gentlemen who hug their opponents after a loss and don't spit the dummy when a call doesn't go their way. They don't drink, they don't smoke and they certainly don't resemble James Dean (or Deen, if you prefer). But there are a few rough cuts amongst the polished stones, those who fit in more amongst John McEnroe and Ilie Nastase than the Wimbledon tea room regulars. Over the next few months, I will make an attempt to sort out those ATP players you'd take home to meet your mother from those you... definitely wouldn't.

It takes a lot for the mild-mannered Rafael Nadal to call someone stupid, but that's exactly how he has referred to our latest bad boy. This Czech player has no problems showing his disdain for media, umpires and other players. He is, of course, Tomas Berdych.

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Maria Sharapova's Swimsuit Shoot for Esquire

Maria Sharapova posted some pics of her shoot with Esquire Latin America, and to be quite honest I'm not a big fan. The nude swimsuit looks like something from American Apparel and does nothing to flatter her skin tone. What worse is how different Maria looks. I absolutely hate heavy retouching and Esquire clearly went to town on the computer, making Maria look less like herself and more like every other model. Increased cleavage? Check. Zero freckles? Of course not. Even her booty looks to have been slimmed down, which is ridiculous considering it is possibly her best asset. Why couldn't Esquire have stuck to improving the lighting and fixing up a few wrinkles? Maria is beautiful enough and her athletic body is the envy of women worldwide. 

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Redfoo Joins X Factor

Redfoo and Dannii Minogue meet Ronan Keating / Pic: Justin Lloyd

Redfoo really made himself known at the Australian Open. He was there cheering in Victoria Azarenka's box, dressed in neon singlets, fur coats, and animal-print pants. He was there when she won the Open, and he was there in her press conference. He was there when she did her trophy photoshoot the next day. Basically, Redfoo was present at every single opportunity available. He may have been the subject of more than one eyeroll, but apparently his antics have paid off. X Factor Australia recently announced that Redfoo is replacing Guy Sebastian as a judge on the hit show. He joins Dannii Minogue, (that's Kylie's sister, for those not up with Australian 'celebs'), Ronan Keating and Natalie Bassingthwaighte.

Redfoo will be based in Sydney, Australia, and is looking forward to discovering Australia's talent.

"What will happen is I will just get into a zone and that is what the world has gotten from Redfoo, just a guy being himself, and that is what makes me unique. I just follow my gut, follow my instinct and follow my feelings. I just want to have fun," he said. "I will be staying in an apartment or a house. I will be working on music. I will be playing tennis and possibly, probably, getting to the beach because I grew up surfing."

As for Azarenka, he told media he was not about to let his relationship slip. "She is going to be playing in China when I am down there so I might on the off days go fly and see her," he said. "That's a whole other thing, maintaining the relationship when you are so far away. I might have to get on a private jet for a few days."

A private jet for a few days, tennis and the beach... love him or hate him, his sounds like one hell of a life.

Maria Sharapova Stuns in Porsche Photoshoot

Maria Sharapova has endorsement deals coming out her ears. Her talent, business sense, and recognisable image have led to Maria signing contract after contract. Yet her latest deal with German car manufacturer Porsche is perhaps a testiment to Maria's looks more than any of her other qualities. With men making up 88% of 911 buyers, it makes sense that Porsche chose to sign an attractive, successful lady as their first ever global endorser in order to convince more men that Porsche is the right choice for their mid-life crisis car. Perhaps I'm being skeptical though. It's entirely possible that Porsche have chosen Maria based on her ability to attract female fans with her dorky sense of humour, impeccable taste in fashion and glass ceiling smashing ways. Regardless, she looked absolutely gorgeous when she launched the partnership with this glamourous photoshoot.

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Tweets of The Week: Boston, Adam Scott, and Clay Court Prowess...

It was a big news week this week, with lots of tragedy mixed in with sporting victories. The Boston Marathon bombings and subsequent man hunt certainly dominated the news. Tennis players were just as horrified as the rest of us, and many shared their thoughts on Twitter. However, if we searched through all the tweets dedicated to Boston we would have a enough Tweets of the Week posts for a year! Here's a small selection.

All my Support to all affected in the #Boston attack. A tragedy that should not occur again.

— Rafa Nadal (@RafaelNadal) April 16, 2013

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Top 10 Ways Recreational Players Annoy Me

Recreational tennis is supposed to be fun but challenging, competitive but not to the point you end up in tears. The best opponents take everyone seriously, are friendly without being patronising, and generally enjoy tennis. Unfortunately, even the lowest grade of social competition will always attract those opponents who tempt you to aim an overhead at their face, not the court. These are my top ten pet hates that I've experienced in social tennis.

1. Doubles partners who insist on chatting during rallies always irk me. Especially when they're chat borders on commentary. "That's in, great shot mate. Oh and that's going out. Our point."

2. Just as annoying is an opponent who calls out the score assertively when winning, but suddenly loses his voice whenever he drops a point.

3. I've been known to struggle with my serve. But even the best players experience those nights when Ana Ivanovic would laugh at the ball toss. You know the ones: you can't feel your shoulder, your wrist isn't flicking through, and your elbow is wooden. None of this is helped when your opponent yells "DOUBLE" every time you double-fault. 

4. Good rallies often end with a winner. What baffles me is when my opponent hits one, and then promptly apologises. If you're sorry for hitting a good shot, start missing please.

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